The night is never long enough.

For a moment in time you needed me.

I was amazed.

Like a moth to a flame, I could not resist.

Being there for you.

Holding you.

Like I always tried to do.

You spoke of words unspoken.

As though there were secrets left to share.

Were you trying to give me courage?

Or yourself?

I only ever left one thing unsaid.

Instead of pushing me away,

You should have asked me not to leave.

Just once.

All I ever wanted was for you to need me the way I needed you. Somewhere along the way I realized that it's your loss, not mine, if you don't.

Jace Everett Bad Things

Forget This

I avoid the dead of night
For that's when I miss you

The most

Long-distance phone-calls
Lengthy chat sessions
Lying in each others arms

Just being with you
Was so easy and yet

So hard

She really believed things would change, and for her sake I hoped they would. But to be honest, I hated her for it.

These vengeful hours
will be my undoing

Too late to be night
Too early to be day
Too lost to be found

Impatiently I wait
breathlessly consuming

Every word

Every thought

Every image

Every bit of you

A dangerous tool
at my fingertips
I caress it's jagged teeth
lingering over the thought

Considering

The implications
and consequences

of. my. every. word.

I give in

A dialogue has been opened.

There is no solution to be reached.

Only an aching heart, yearning for the past.

Yearning for a future that cannot be.

Searching...

Too much time.

Too much change.

Too much life.

I don't know you anymore, you who I knew better than I knew myself. I have been given exactly one ultimatum by him. One. You cannot be part of me. I cannot begin to express how much that hurts. It's for my own good, I'd only ache over you anyway. More than I already do. So long it's been since I've hugged you, really hugged you.

I want my friend back.

Once upon a time
You were my everything
With all this time that's passed
I'm not surprised that you can't see
Your role in my life is gone
But in my heart only changed

How is it that I've put you out of my life and you're still fucking my shit up?

Worried

You don't want the life I do.

I don't want the life you do.

We agreed to leave it at that.

But then you say you worry about me.

I'm going to become too dependent on the man who is to be My Husband.

Sometimes I think you want me independent.

Alone.

Like you.

Have you wondered why you don't hear from me? Maybe you should call instead of waiting for me to do it.

I am so sick of hearing you lament about long passed relationships! Get over it already!

I've paid my dues. Honey, you can keep the change.

Sometimes I stop and think, "What am I doing here?" and just feel completely lost when I'm with you.

I'm with him, but I'm thinking of you.

You always said I'd be better off without you. Who would have expected you'd be better off without me as well?

I hear you wake, screaming my name.
I feel you tremble, realizing I'm not beside you.
As I die a little inside, I smile.
I know he'll give me what you won't.

I wouldn't change who I've become, not for all the money in the world, but some days I ache for what we could have become together.

What does it say about you
That you hide from me,
The one soul who truly understands you?
That you pout when,
In my haste to live fulfilled
You don't fit into my life?
What does it say about me
That I can move away
From the man I once loved?

Can you feel this?

With just a click here
And another click there
You'd be all but forgotten
I'd have to seek your words out
No longer surprised by them
No more random heartache
You've always said I should be happy
I know you'd agree with this measure
But do you even realize
I do this not for happiness
But rather to be less unhappy

And then there was that day when you told me that you loved me but you still said no when I asked you for the only thing I could never live without even though you knew what it would mean to me, for us, forever and somehow I still love you.

And I let it go to my head.

The way you looked at me
As though I was the only girl in the room
Worth noticing

The way you spoke to me
As though the Gods themselves spoke through you
The only truth that mattered

The feel of your fingers on my skin
As though you'd never touched before
And never would again

Alone

I drove down that road again last night,
right past the turn I know so well.
I stayed in the far opposite lane,
lest I forget and turn down it anyway.
I thought of all the days and nights spent down that bend,
the memories that collect around that part of town.

I thought of you, how you were just returning home.
Another week, another game,
another set of people you wish to see more.

I thought of what was waiting at home for me.
(A cold, dark apartment. Lonelier still with night upon it.)

I could have turned down that road,
forced myself into your life again.

But it didn't seem worth it last night.

I turned you down for the unwavering glow of my laptop,
the unflinching devotion of my cats,
and the security of knowing one thing:

I know who I'm waking up next to when I sleep alone.